Cambridge Complementary Health Blog

All the way back in the early 1970s there was some research undertaken that was to change communications thinking and teaching for more than 30 years.

It was undertaken by Professor Albert Mehrabian amongst volunteer students at UCLA and was published in 1971. Together they attempted to clarify, in very defined circumstances, the relative importance that attaches to words themselves (single words in his case) and the manner in which they were delivered in the process of communication. Known by its popular name of the 7%-38%-55% rule it is also known amongst communications experts as ‘Mehrabian’s Rule’. The findings, and so runs most popular thinking, proved that in any communication process only 7% of the ‘value’ attaches to the words themselves, 38% to the tone of voice, and, by default, 55% to the body language used.

It was and remains important, though limited, research – but the universality of the findings has been widely misinterpreted and the eagre generalisation of his ‘rule’ has been at pandemic levels for decades. Put plainly, there is no such universal rule.

The one fact, alas, that everyone can quote about the importance of Body Language in the communication process is wrong. It doesn’t apply to the overwhelmingly vast part of what goes on, and certainly not to that vital presentation or speech that’s looming. Sorry.

Most tellingly, Prof Mehrabian himself has stated that his findings have been wrongly interpreted and far too generally applied. See his own comments here (see ‘Silent Messages’). For a short general introduction to his findings and to the perpetuation of the ‘myth’ please also see the Wikipedia entry here.

The misinterpretation may initially have been down to misunderstanding. But the spread and spread of the ‘myth’ can only suggest that there is more than an appetite, there is a need, for formulae that can be applied to effective communication. A huge amount of research has been undertaken since the 1970s and, alas, for those in need, there is still no replacement formula. Common sense tells us that sometimes non-verbal communication is 100% of the message (think of an eyebrow flash across a busy room), sometimes much less than 50% and sometimes more.

Not much of a formula, I’m afraid.

Colin McLean

www.presentationworks.me

For additional info go to the Creativityworks.net & watch the ‘you tube’ video &  I discovered a radio interview given by Mehrabian where he addresses the ‘myth’ as well. Clearly he’s careful not to fill his research full of holes, but still: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00lyvz9. (It’s the last interview  on that recording )

Colin

Before starting with Forever two years ago, Natalie Heeley knew nothing about running

her own business, let alone the health and nutrition industry. Now she exudes confidence

and is proud to be earning a full-time income whilst running a part-time business, and to

be a full-time mum to her children, Will (4) and Rosie (2). Natalie feels that one of the best things about

being a working mum, is to still have financial independence and be able to contribute to the household,

which gives confidence in herself that naturally shines through to the children.

She combines working with parenthood, by using the resources she has available to release the 7 to 10

hours a week she needs to run her business – help from her mother-in-law when she needs to call on

her, and the time when the children are sleeping or playing. Natalie says the main change for her is that

she has stopped watching TV!

She regards herself as much like any other mum, with the same day-to-day issues, but truly believes

that her relaxed and calm manner is down to good time management and getting the balance right. To

her, it is important to fit your time and your business into your day, so that family can be a priority, and

really important to know when to simply say “no” As Natalie says, “We all have the same 24 hours in

a day, it is just a matter of how you spend them.”

Natalie’s inspiration comes from her own mum – Senior Manager Jan Whitaker, who as a Car Plan and

Profit Share achiever, has been a great role model. As Natalie says, “Mum earns a fantastic income with

a great lifestyle, more play than work, and she always makes family the priority and has got the balance

right, so all I’ve done, is to copy her.”

Natalie started with Forever to be able to afford a cleaner! Now she has earned enough to move to a

village location, and built an extension on their home. Her next goal is to be able to send the children

to private school when they reach age nine, if the right move is right for them.

She believes her future looks bright and she is eager to have the financial freedom where her choices

are not dictated by finances, and leisure time is not controlled by work commitments.

Her parting comment, “It would be quite neat to have the choice of retiring at 35. Why not, and why

not me?”

We all know the feeling – you meet someone you know would just love your products or be a brilliant addition to your team and as soon as you open your mouth you see the shutters come down and they dismiss you without even listening to what you have to say

Why does this happen? Well, if you pay attention to what is going on inside your own head, you’ll probably find the answer. When you establish rapport with someone and you think you’ve got to the right moment you switch from asking and listening and start telling, right?

When is the right moment to switch to ‘telling’?

Now I can hear you saying “Look, at some point I’ve got to tell them what I’m selling or promoting, don’t I?” and yes, you do, but the way you do it is crucial. Whether you are promoting a business opportunity or a product, knowing that many, many people will say they want the benefits but that very, very few are prepared to do anything about getting them can save you lots of time and heartache: “Sure, I want to look better / be healthier but will I take your stuff every day or organise a party? Nah, not really.” “Sure, I’d like more money, freedom etc., but will I give up watching telly every spare moment and do something about it? Nah, it’s too much effort.” So, before you get your hopes up and switch to telling, make sure that you’re really talking to the right person.

Ask just a few more questions:

“If I could show you a way to get (whatever they say they want), would you be interested?” and “How much effort, time and energy would you be prepared to invest to get it?” and the clincher: “I don’t want to waste your time or mine by explaining this so I need to know if you are really interested – are you really prepared to put time, effort and energy into getting what you want?” (adjust this depending on whether you’re selling a product, service or business opportunity.) By now, your prospect will either have disqualified themselves or they’ll really want to hear what you have to say.

Caution: If you are selling a business opportunity, avoid these phrases like the plague:

“You can make big money really easily” This is just bull and most people will recognise it and walk away. All you’ll get with this line is people who want something for nothing.

“All you have to do is talk to your friends and family” NOOOOO! Family members can sometimes be supportive but can also be the WORST people to talk to and can kill off a budding business in a stroke. Its best not to build up false expectations.

“It’s a really easy business, you don’t need to sell”.  Huh?  Let’s get real – its much better to talk about creating opportunities for people to buy and attracting people with some skills or the ability to learn quickly.

Better still: Know enough about their skills and potential to talk sensibly about the training and support they’ll get. Even when you’re sure your prospect is interested you can still bring the shutters down if you talk too much.

Imagine you’re telling a young person about sex -

only answer the questions they ask, be honest and keep it simple and most importantly, keep checking that they understand! Too much information might frighten them to death!